Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Pretty Exiguous Turmoil Attempt

I wouldn't consider myself an animal rights activist. I could never be a vegetarian, because I love bacon. That being said, I don't eat veal for moral reasons, nor would I ever consider wearing fur. I've watched PETA videos depicting the gory reality of factory farms and Chinese fur farms, and have been as shocked and disgusted as I'm sure the majority of people would be.

But there are times where I'm amazed that PETA even manages to exist, let alone be so popular amongst so many people. Some of their approaches and logic leave me dumbfounded. Most of the time it's just flipping hilarious. Since last night, I have been experiencing one of those moments of hilarity.

Baby seals are cute. Really cute. And helpless. The seal hunt, not so cute. I have no qualms against Inuit people hunting seals as part of their cultural livelihood and for survival, but I do have a problem with
the large scale hunt for the sole purpose of fur harvesting. Unfortunately, this has been magnified into a Canadian problem that has turned into a festering public image sore for the nation. A large part of that is due to the attention laid upon it by PETA (which my 13 year old brother says stands for People Eating Tasty Animals...sorry, it fits with my mood and I think it's funny).

It is on that note that I bring your attention to PETA's current campaign regarding the seal hunt: Olympic Shame 2010. Their appro
ach now is to take advantage of the current international focus on Canada surrounding the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver/Whistler. This is very clear in the design of the campaign, which features demonized versions of the 2010 mascots clubbing baby seals in an animated introduction, and a mimic of the Vancouver 2010 logo in the top right corner of the page where the inukshuk is now a person holding a club over a baby seal. Put your cursor over it for a surprise!

Now, this is not a bad approach. Many NGO's shifted their focus on China's human rights violations leading up to the 2008 Summer Olympics. It's a smart time to campaign when so many people are paying
attention to the country in light of a huge international event. Certainly PETA cannot be faulted for adopting this approach.

But continue looking through the website, and you'll find...
HOLY CRAYOLA BATMAN! COLOURING PAGES!

That's right. My particular favourite is the one entitled "Evil Quatchi is Clubbing Seals!". 'Cause colouring is not just for kids (although Trix are). Here is mine (sadly it's blurry for some reason, but you get the idea)!


There is also a kid-friendly colouring page, "for your little one who loves baby seals." You'll also find e-cards and protest photos.

But the best part is how they plan to really hit Canada hard with their message. You may have noticed it if you clicked the above link for the home page. PETA's strategy is to "boycott a material that is VITAL to Canada's economy":

MAPLE SYRUP.


You have got to be shitting me.

According to the CIA World Factbook, Canada's primary exports include:
  • motor vehicles and parts
  • industrial machinery
  • aircraft
  • telecommunications equipment
  • chemicals
  • plastics
  • fertilizers
  • wood pulp
  • timber
  • crude petroleum
  • natural gas
  • electricity
  • aluminum.
Did you read maple syrup in there? Yeah, me neither. Sure, Canada may very well produce 85% of the world's maple syrup, but that doesn't make it vital to our economy. How's that for a stereotype.

"...by buying this Canadian product, you are supporting Canadian cruelty." All you people who enjoy a little sugary treat a-top your Saturday morning pancakes and waffles - you are all shitty people. That's right. And if I drink milk, I'm supporting the veal industry. Only that message was narrated to me by Alec Baldwin. Breakfast is for sadists who don't care about animals.

Maple Syrup comes from a tree, for goodness sake! It has NOTHING to do with seals. ...gah. It saddens me that a lot of people are going to do this thinking that they're actually saving baby seals.

Good luck to you PETA. Thanks for the laughs, and the headache.