Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...And Trust Me, This is Small Stuff

I'm sure it won't come as a total surprise that I am writing about this, however I feel it is worthy of comment.

This was first brought to my attention on the way home this evening while listening to 680 News. I was not completely in the know until I managed to stumble across it in a way I cannot currently remember. Take the time to watch it first before reading on so that you can be completely in the know.

Okay, so what do we have here? It really depends who you ask. According to the majority of the 11,000+ comments on the video, it is just another typical demonstration of "American ignorance" towards Canada, and just another reason why Fox is the asshole of American news networks. And they're right to an extent.

Since this has been aired, the host Greg Gutfeld has issued an apology, and Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay and his department accepted it after contacting Fox Networks earlier in the day to demand one. Gutfeld also had this to say on his Twitter:

"My apologies to the Canadian military, they probably could at least beat the Belgians"

His official apology came off as being more sincere...

It is completely understandable why so many people are outraged about this, given the fact that four Canadian soldiers just travelled down the Highway of Heroes today. It would be an untruth for me to say that I was not offended by this video. I found it to be completely distasteful, disrespectful towards the sacrifices of our soldiers and their families, and most of all saturated in ignorance. My heart goes out to the families of these soldiers and others who have no doubt been exposed to this as a result of the attention it is receiving (it was covered on the 11pm edition of Global National News).

There are some things you do not poke fun at, and the military of a country engaged in active war is one of those things in my books. Despite your sentiments and thoughts regarding the legitimacy and merit of the war in Afghanistan, I think it is safe to say that all Canadians found this to be a shot below the belt. This goes for any country and any war - soldiers are sacrificing their lives, some without a choice in the matter, and that is something to be respected or at the very least civilly acknowledged. You do not need to agree with their position, but I feel it is necessary to respectfully acknowledge their willingness to sacrifice their lives on behalf of their country.

But before everyone flies off the handle, let's take a step back and look at this for what it really is: a show we'd previously never knew existed comprised of a panel of American nobodys who did nothing but make complete fools of themselves.

Red Eye is aired at 3am on weekdays, and it is aired at that time for a reason: it is not a quality show. It is intended to be a satirical news program, much like The Daily Show or The Colbert Report only with more suck, featuring a panel of individuals who make off the cuff remarks on the subject at hand. Immediately we know that nothing said on this show is meant to be taken seriously, but it goes without saying that this does not excuse their targetting and off-hand remarks regarding Canadian soldiers. Especially because it is impossible for this topic to have been chosen without any knowledge of the number of good Canadian soldiers that have been lost in Afghanistan.

Let's look further at the panel featured on this episode: who in fact are these people?

Greg Gutfeld graduated from UC Berkeley, and has been a writer for Prevention and Men's Health magazines. He went on to become editor-in-chief of Men's Health and most notably Maxim UK. He was once a contributor to The Huffington Post and now runs his own blog entitled The Daily Gut. He has also published two books: The Scorecard at Work: The Official Point System for Keeping Score in the Relationship Game and Lessons from the Land of Pork Scratchings.

Doug Benson is a stand-up comedian who was recently a contestant on Last Comic Standing. He is known for doing his comedy bits high, and was named "Stoner of the Year" in 2006 by High Times Magazine.

Bill Schulz is a regular writer and panelist on Red Eye, and an All-American. He is a direct descendant of William Dawes Jr., who rode with Paul Revere to warn the colonial minutemen about the advancement of the British. He has this to say on his Twitter:

"To all canadians that keep emailing me: R u really from the land of SCTV and jim carrey? Lighten the fuck up. ."

Monica Crowley has a BA in Political Science from Colgate University and a PhD in International Relations from Columbia University. She acted as Foreign Policy Assistant to former President Richard Nixon from 1990-1994. She has a radio show entitled The Monica Crowley Show and has appeared in a number of Fox Network shows. She is best known for allegations of plagiarism and off-colour remarks about President Barack Obama during the Democrat Presidential Primary.

Most of us likely did not know who any of these people were prior to seeing this video, and there is a good reason for that: these are not notable Americans. They are not prominently in the public spotlight, and frankly are not known for much. To put it into perspective, they're appearing as panelists on a show that comes on at 3am. So why do we care so much about what they have to say? What makes their remarks and opinions regarding the Canadian military worth the fuss we're making over it?

They don't matter. If they were based on an ounce of fact, then perhaps the outcry would be worth it, but there is no fact. If there were, there would not be references to outdated ideals of Manifest Destiny or to the stereotypes of the RCMP. Let's not forget that many RCMP officers have been lost in the line of duty as well, and they deserve just as much respect as our soldiers do.

Lines such as "Is it not the perfect time to invade this ridiculous country?" courtesy of Mr. Gutfeld and "This is not a smart culture." from Mr. Schulz definitely are not taken kindly, but remember who these people are. They're nobody of importance to anyone in Canada, and so it's not worth investing so much disdain in the ignorance that so unfortunately leaves their mouth. But it is furthermore important to remember that these people do not represent all Americans - in fact, far from it. It makes no sense to generalize your dislike of the videos to all Americans, as this is not demonstrable of "American ignorance" or of the "American perception of Canada". The only people they have had the misfortune in representing is themselves, and their remarks only reflect poorly on them - no one else.

This primarily goes out to everyone who has taken the time to write a comment on the video, and the many people who have likely created accounts with YouTube in order to do so - you are no better than those panelists when you start to misdirect your ill feelings towards Americans as a whole. Be the better people here, and take out your frustrations on those who created it only.

Peter MacKay had the right idea when he said:

"I don't think we should dignify this with more commentary other than to say it's highly regrettable..."

It's happened, and it's time to move on. It just isn't worth fretting about such a blatant display of stupidity.

But there is one positive to come out of this. Look at the huge display of Canadian patriotism that's happening as a result! There is plenty to be said about that, but that is a topic for another post...

Images retrieved from google image search.

A Catastrophe of Nugget Proportions

It's wonderful little tidbits such as this that make procrastination worthwhile.

In Fort Pierce, Florida, 27 year old Latreasa Goodman phoned 911 a total of three times after being informed that McDonald's was out of chicken McNuggets after placing and paying for her 10-piece order.

She was later quoted as saying to police:

This is an emergency, If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one.

She attempted to get a full refund, but was informed that all sales were final by the cashier, who according to her 911 call was also the manager. You can listen to the recordings of the first and second 911 calls here and here. She is now facing a misuse of 911 charge.

Are you done laughing yet? Perhaps you are too flabbergasted to laugh?

Is this the extent of North American consumer culture, that it now becomes an emergency worthy of police involvement when we don't receive precisely what we've ordered? It's not as if she was being refused her food, she was simply being offered an alternative, larger portion of food for the same price due to the lack of chicken McNuggets. This is something that happens in various restaurants across the world everyday. For those of you unfamiliar, as I was, the McDouble is the new name for a Double Cheeseburger.

Oh, but that isn't chicken. That's mystery beef. So order a McChicken? No thanks, I'll just call the police instead.

There was a time when I would respond to this type of story with "This could only happen in the United States," but sadly I would be no more surprised to hear of this happening in a McDonald's in my city. The sense of self-entitlement that exists amongst so many people these days, across all generations, never ceases to amaze and disgust me. How any person could look at this situation and view it as an "emergency" is entirely mind-boggling to me. We don't even need to ask ourselves whether she gave thought to the fact that she would be pulling police officers off of their regular patrol in order to tend to her "crisis", either taking them away from real emergencies or from being able to prevent criminal activity, which is in fact their job. We know she gave no thought other than to her own situation and needs. Three 911 calls tells us that.

McDonald's had this to say about the incident:

Satisfying each and every customer that visits our restaurants is very important to us.
Regarding this isolated incident, we apologize for the inconvenience caused.
In the event that we are unable to fill an order, a customer should be offered the choice of a full refund or alternative menu items. We regret that in this instance, that wasn't the case.
We want to correct our mistake. We will be sending the customer her refund, along with an Arch card for a complimentary meal on us.
We never want to disappoint a McNuggets fan or any McDonald's customer.
Customer satisfaction is our top priority.

Carlos Solorzano
McDonald's Operations Manager Florida Region

Holy Sweet and Sour Sauce Batman! Not only is she now going to get her refund, but she's also going to get a complimentary meal to correct the mix-up that caused her mental anguish. That's just fantastic. Back in the day, McDonald's would have heard this story and likely just laughed. Now they have to "cover their ass" to prevent a possible civil suit.

My favourite part of all of this is that if she had just given a little more thought to the situation, and directly called the police station rather than 911, she would have still gotten the police involvement she felt was so necessary AND her refund without the misuse of 911 charge.

Isolated incident right? WRONG! In Boynton Beach, Florida, roughly a month earlier Jean Fortune placed a 911 call when the Burger King he had just placed his order with informed him that they did not serve lemonade, with additional complaints that his food was taking too long to cook and that the employee was rude to him. He hadn't paid for anything. Not surprisingly, he was also charged with misuse of 911. You can listen to his 911 call here. This one is great, because unlike Latreasa's calls the 911 operator tells Jean like it is:

The Police are not for customer service complaints. They are not here to respond to your beck and call.

We can only hope that these charges teach Latreasa and Jean the proper function and purpose of 911, and that others will learn from these stories.

People are so consumed with their own rights to live as autonomous individuals that they forget that it's necessary to respect the autonomy of others to maintain order - you cannot do what you will as you will, your actions must be curbed to respect the rights of others. There are no rights without limitations. The sooner people all over the world - of all ages, races, and cultures - learn that, the better.

Does anyone else want McNuggets right now?

**McNugget photo from google image search. Burger King drink image from Flickr by "di+mars".

Fail and Update

I haven't posted anything in over a month. Wow. That is so fail.

Things have been so stressful and busy lately that I just haven't had the time to sit down and write. And I've had so many ideas! I definitely need to become more in-tune with this blogging business and post more regularly.

I figure to get the ball rolling I might as well make this an update of my chewing gum abstinence rather than just a "Wow-I-fail-at-blogging" post. Dare I say it, I'm succeeding? ...not quite.

Immediately after my dentist appointment, it actually was going well. I really took what he said to heart, and since I only had one pack of gum left and am poor I quickly finished off the pack so that I had no gum left to chew. That being said, I definitely chewed each piece for much longer than the recommended 5 minutes. Try 5 hours. When they say Stride gum is everlasting, they are not kidding my friends.

So I ran out, and had gone for two weeks without gum. I was sitting here on my computer when my brother walks in. He pulls from behind his back 10 packages of gum. TEN! He offers them all to me, saying I can take as many as I want.

I honestly felt like a recovering drug addict having a vial or crack rocks or something equally illicit dangled in front of my face. I took half of them. These are packs of gum I don't even like. Shortly after, I found a pack of Stride gum I had gotten for Christmas in my room. Awesome.

I will proudly report that I still have all of these packs of gum, a couple in various states of consumption. Do I only chew pieces for 5 minutes? Absolutely not. That is just a waste of good gum. But at least I'm not chewing multiple pieces of gum a day...at least, not every day.

In summation, it's a work in progress. If someone from Stride wants to give me a PR job for the two mentions I gave you in this blog though, that'd be fantastic. I need the money.